Elden Ring player’s ass makes way for elders throne

In the time-honored tradition of cryptic Souls gameplay, a Elden ring (opens in new tab) player recently challenged himself to beat the game using nothing but his character’s ass. Yes, there’s an ass attack in Elden Ring, and yes, it can apparently become ultra-powerful in the right hands.

speedrunner souls game distortion 2 (opens in new tab), who currently holds the Any% world record for Elden Ring, accepted the challenge last week by starting a new game and immediately equipping his spear with an Ashes of War move called Ground Slam. Despite its name, this ground swipe is certainly a butt swipe – the player leaps into the air and slams into the dirt with enough force to make Mario proud.

To be clear, Distortion doesn’t take down all of the 150+ Elden Ring bosses in the race. They mostly stick to bosses that reward the player with Remembrance, or in other words, bosses that FromSoftware finds difficult/important enough to have a big prize. That doesn’t make the race any less impressive. Distortion’s hit list includes all plot-critical bosses and other heavy hitters like Malenia.

What’s the secret behind Distortion’s steely cheeks? Lots and lots of buffs, it seems. In the 2-hour highlights video above, Distortion starts off pretty much every fight by imbuing himself with some sort of attack or defense, depending on the situation. The results are impressive. In many cases they are able to butt bosses to death faster than I can with two beefed up katanas.

But it’s not as easy as spamming an attack and turning their brains off – since the butt stomp move takes time to finish and execute, Distortion needs to be careful with its timing and try not to stumble out of its attacks. This becomes a bigger concern in later fights with Rykard, Malenia, and Mohg, where they start equipping armor with high balance to get around the scaling issue. With how brutal Elden Ring’s final boss challenge becomes, I’m a little surprised they managed to keep up the challenge. You can hear the relief in Distortion’s voice as they finally defeat the final boss.

In his own words, the butt run “started strong and slowly descended into despair”. Still, they say it was a lot of fun and would recommend the challenge to others.

Thanks, Radar Games (opens in new tab)

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