Perhaps you are familiar with the subgenre of internet cooking videos that teach you how to make a horrible concoction that is invariably suspended in aspic, or has a lot of processed American cheese stuck somewhere it doesn’t belong, or is wrapped entirely in meat which is then wrapped in several layers of different meat. the kind of thing that Kalen would rebuke in the name of Jesus (opens in new tab). Savannah Mortenson likely watched these videos and saw an opportunity.
After discovering that her PC wasn’t up to the task of running Elden Ring, Savannah turned to the internet for help. she opened a ko.fi account (opens in new tab) for donations and began filming TikToks of “eating food in a cursed way until someone buys me parts to build a gaming PC”. Among the highlights: a video where she mixes a fried steak to make a sauce, then pours it over a gelatin steak made from steak sauce and mayonnaise. The deadpan facial expression really sells.
i’m gonna fucking puke pic.twitter.com/NHzEAHyEg9April 5, 2022
One of our colleagues from Radar Games (opens in new tab) chatted with Savannah, who said the worst of her damn meals, by far, “both in taste and texture”, was the one that combined a McDonald’s Burger, Caramel Iced Coffee and Vodka in a Blender (opens in new tab). Unbelievably, she made it through, like all of them, without vomiting. The best? ONE full english breakfast and a can of Foster’s beer (opens in new tab), also mixed and drunk through a straw. It was apparently “really pretty good.”
Over the course of 17 days of this nightmare, during which Savannah’s videos were shared on Twitter and mailing lists, she finally got her gaming PC. She will be playing Elden Ring and streaming Muscular contraction (opens in new tab)away in one final video (opens in new tab) she says she will finish LA Noire first “because I started it and I’m enjoying it so much”. She also says that she is considering continuing with the cursed food series, but using it to raise money for charity. “If I continue, it will be weekly. Certainly not daily. It’s time-consuming and exhausting.”